"Wake up,"

"I'm awake,"

"Just in time, huh?"


"It's okay. How do you feel?"

"I don't – oh,"

"Oh, what?"

"It's you,"



"Well, are you okay?"

"I don't want to talk about this with you,"

"Oh. You're blaming me then?"

"I'm not blaming anyone,"

"Yeah? It's hard to tell with you,"

"What is that supposed to mean?"

"You tell me,"

"Please just leave me alone,"

"You have to talk to someone,"

"I was,"

"Not her,"


"Yeah. You need to talk to me,"

"No. I really don't,"

"It's unhealthy,"

"This is unhealthy!"

"People are worried about you,"

"You don't think I know that?"

"It's hard to say,"

"They don't need to worry,"

"Just like that?"

"Just like that,"

"I'm worried about you,"

"You have a terrible way of showing it,"

"I'm doing what I can,"

"And you don't think I'm doing what I can?"

"I think that you could do more,"

"You don't know anything about me. You don't know anything about my life,"

"I know more than you think I do,"

"You have no clue. No fucking clue,"

"That's untrue,"

"Who the fuck are you to tell me that?"

"The only person who matters,"

"I told you. I don't want to talk about this with you,"

"Is it because of what he said?"


"Is all of this because of what he said?"

"What are you talking about?"

"It isn't then? Okay,"

"Why are you being like this?"

"Because you're a liar,"

"Excuse me?"

"I remember what he said,"


"And you do too,"

"I don't want to talk about it,"

"You think that's never happened to me before?"

"I don't really care,"

"Yeah, that's the problem with you,"

"What is that supposed to mean?"

"You don't care how I feel,"

"And you don't care about me!"

"That's not true,"

"Isn't it?"

"Do you know how much I've had to put up with because of you?"

"Oh, really? Go on then. Tell me,"

"No. You don't deserve it,"

"For fuck's sake,"

"Just admit it!"

"Admit what?!"

"That you remember what he said!"


"That's what this is all about, isn't it?"

"How – "

"Admit it!"

"There's nothing to admit!"

"Are you really going to pretend like you don't remember?"

"You're insane,"

"God, I wish. It would make this so much easier,"

"Why can't you just leave me alone?"

"Because, I remember,"

"What has that got to do with me?"

"You're not dealing with it,"


"And, it affects me,"



"I get it now,"

"The hell are you talking about?"

"You were waiting for him to say it,"


"You wanted him too! You wanted a reason!"

"A reason for what?"

"To get rid of him! You couldn't stand to see me happy!"

"Me? Seriously?"

"Yes! You! You are always getting in the way!"

"That's bold, coming from you,"

"My broken arm?"

"It's not broken anymore,"

"That was your fault!"

"I didn't ask to be attacked!"

"But they were after you!"

"I fought them off! I was ambushed!"

"And who saved you?"

"Don't get cute now,"

"Who saved you?"

"He didn't save me, you idiot,"

"Don't you get it? That's what he does. That's what he's supposed to do,"

"I don't need his help,"

"But I need yours?"


"And so the shower just... didn't happen?"


"Yeah, I remember things too,"

"I did that to help you. I do what I can to help you,"

"This is helping me?"

"Helping you to wake up!"

"You don't know anything,"

"I know what you did,"

"What the fuck?"

"Did you do it to get back at him?"

"I didn't do anything,"

"I saw you two,"

"You saw nothing,"

"It didn't look like nothing. It didn't sound like nothing,"

"You're so fucking self-righteous,"

"Pot. Kettle,"

"I would never try to hurt him!"

"But you did. You let it happen,"

"I love him, you asshole!"

"You have a funny way of showing it,"

"That's not fair!"

"It's never supposed to be fair,"

"I need you to go. I need you to get out,"

"I'm afraid I can't do that,"

"Why not?"

"Because, you're still not getting it,"

"What? What?"

"He called you Lois,"


"That's what this is all about,"

"You have no idea –"

"He called you Lois,"

"He didn't,"

"Yes, he did,"


"I remember. You remember,"

"Shut up,"

"He said it in his sleep,"

"Shut. Up,"


"You don't –"

"You know that secrets are revealed in our sleep, right? Why is he dreaming about her?"

"Be quiet,"

"Must have been rough,"

"Fuck off!"

"Not when we're finally getting somewhere,"

"Why are you doing this?"

"I told you, I'm trying to help you,"

"Trying to help me do what?"

"Wake up!"

"I'm not doing this,"

"Just listen to me!"

"I've had enough of you! I swear to God, I swear to God! Get out!"

"No! Stop!"

"Get out!"

"You don't understand. That's not a joke,"

"It will shut you up,"

"It will kill both of us!"

"I want you out!"

"No! Don't do this!"

"Try to stop me!"

"Please! Caitlin! Caitlin!"


the woman looms over her, brows merging in concern; she's discarded her notepad and her pen on the other side of the room. "Are you okay?"

Her eyes slowly focus, the kind, blurred face starts to take shape and it all comes flooding back. There's a pain in her neck, where she had it angled awkwardly against the pillow. It feels hot, the skin flushed and itchy. Her hand snaps back to alleviate the pain, pushing herself up to a sitting position. The woman takes her gently by the shoulder and guides her upward, offering her a tall glass of water that she didn't notice before. Her thirst seems insatiable. Caitlin takes the glass and gulps down the contents without taking a breath; her throat feels ragged, parched and her haste makes the water burn on the way down. Her head feels heavy, swimming with thoughts and memories and she notices then, that her other hand is clutched tightly across her chest, over the place where her heart stammers. Her eyes grow wide as she remembers. Her hand was in her chest. Her hand was closing over her heart. Her hand was ready to rip it out and toss it to the floor. Ending her. Ending them.



"Would you like to talk about what just happened?"